Every now and again something happens in your heart or your life which is so significant, so major, that you know that nothing will ever be quite the same again.
Sometimes, in just a few days or moments, your life can become so different that for a while you find yourself out of step with the rest of the world. “How?” you ask yourself, “Can everyone else’s life still be so much the same when mine has changed so radically?”
Sitting here I can think of six moments in my life when I have felt this really powerfully: Asking Jesus to be a part of my life; getting married; the births of my three children and then the death of my Dad. All of these things have so profoundly affected me on the inside that I have struggled to understand why people around me can’t see or sense or be a part of the revolution that has taken place. I’ve felt a bit detached from the rest of the world for a while, and I haven’t always understood or awarded myself the grace that I needed.
I’m kind of in that place again this week.
Last week, at a crazy-beautiful conference in England, Father God revealed to me a little bit more of who he is, and then a little bit more of who I am, and before I knew it, another revolution had taken place in my heart. I’ll get to writing and painting about that soon (when the dust has settled) but for this week, I need to take a ‘wing-drying’ moment.
You see, I read this morning about this butterfly, a monarch, which after hatching out of its cocoon, sits for an hour or more in the sun, allowing its wings to dry and become strong. This moment of rest, of warming, and of taking stock speaks to me really powerfully right now.
So often I experience a revolution in my life or in my heart, and I expect myself to be able to be up and out and flying straightaway. Today I think Jesus is telling me to wait a while, to let my wings dry out, to get used to my new shape. This picture is permission to rest in him for a moment or two before I launch out again.
And that’s good… There’s going to be a lot of time for flying.
Imagine my surprise when I emerge from the struggle the beautiful revolution the inner rewriting with wings.. Still reeling but knowing that one day soon I will stretch out into what I've become and fly. But till then I'll sit here in the light and the warmth of your gaze and let you tell me again who I am.
It’s always good to rest for a while in the warmth of the Father’s gaze. Make sure you take a moment today to ‘sun yourself’.
For your Journal:
If you’re not in this place right now, store up the thought for the future… Decide now that if and when it happens you will give yourself permission to rest and to ask God to shine his light on your wings.
If you are in this place, go easy on yourself. Write a letter to God in your journal about the change that you’ve just been through. Take the moment to say goodbye to what you were before and to stretch out into the new thing you’ve become. Absorb the light of God’s presence in whatever way works best for you right now. Be blessed x