All posts by promisepainter

Living the Life, Uncategorized

Thirsty?

Image 3 Comments

I know that in the heat of summer,
especially here in Cyprus, it is really important to drink lots of
water. But I am the sort of person who gets busy and caught up in
things and I often just forget.

I’ve
noticed that when I’ve gone a long time without drinking and am
feeling thirsty, I often take a while to realise that’s what the
problem is and might even try other things- an apple, a biscuit –
not really recognising what it is that my body needs or is
craving.

Sometimes we are like this with our time alone
with Jesus. We forget how much we need him, how much his presence
is like water to our souls and we become ‘spiritually dehydrated’
without really noticing. And yet, as when our bodies have gone
without enough water, one taste of pure refreshing time with Him
can be enough to reawaken our thirst and make us drink long and
deep. Perhaps you too have been busy and distracted? Perhaps you
have not noticed how thirsty your soul has become? Why not come now
and take a sip? Ask your loving father to pour out his refreshing
spirit over your soul. Sit with him for a while… and enjoy the
precious refreshment he longs to bring you. Thirsty?

Holy Spirit
come,

drip drops of living
water

onto my lips

cool, clean, pure

and as
I drink

stretch streams of sweet
refreshment

into the dry and thirsty
land

that is my soul.

reawaken my thirst for you

oh living water

until I
cry out

for more

and more

and
more

and then let me be
drenched

soaked in you

day after day

year after
year -and let me never dry out again

Identity, Uncategorized

Hanging on the Line

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I’ve heard that it’s not the thing to air one’s dirty laundry in public, but I promise you that this lot is definitely clean, straight out of the washing machine, slightly damp and smelling of soap.

Today it was a mixed wash, so the line has my daughter’s summer dresses, my husband’s work shirts, some pillowcases, socks, a swimsuit and a white (wonder what made me think that was a good idea?) shower mat.

Sometimes I’m astounded by the power of Dixan (washing powder). I put all this lot in the washing machine, grubby and malodorous, and an hour later here it is… clean and sweet-smelling, blowing in the breeze. Even the shower mat, which was frankly gruesome when it went in (how is it that children’s feet come out of the shower still so dirty?), is now white, soft and fragrant… It’s a domestic miracle.

And I’ve been thinking this week about the truth that in Jesus we are washed completely clean,  because on Friday I had the glorious experience of seeing my fifteen year old son being baptised.

baptism

 

As I watched him going down under the water and coming back up again I thought again what a wonderful picture this is of being washed clean, of getting a new start. All the the mistakes, the falling short and the deliberate disobedience of our lives washed away. We leave every stain, every bit of dirt, every echo of guilt there in the water forever, not just that one time, but every single time we come to Jesus and ask for his forgiveness. Beautiful.

I love this from Colossians 1:22

But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation

Fortunately I don’t have anyone in my life who is likely to walk up to my washing line, stare at my shower mat and point out any stains on it!

In my spiritual life I don’t need someone else to do that, I’m actually pretty good at accusing myself.  But this verse tells me that I am utterly clean, and that God isn’t pointing out my stains and blemishes, not because he has developed selective vision, or because he is being polite, but because once i’ve asked for his forgiveness and been washed, THERE AREN’T ANY THERE ANY MORE.

(This isn’t a claim that I don’t mess things up anymore – far from it.  I end up in the laundry pile painfully often, but then I come to Jesus and ask to get washed and then I am CLEAN)

Although I knew that truth, I also struggled for years to get rid of the feeling of being dirty. In the end it took a powerful picture from God of myself standing under the flow of Jesus’ blood and seeing it removing the stains from my hands and heart before that particular piece of truth made it’s journey from my head to my heart.  Sometimes it takes God to write something directly onto your heart for you to get it!

It was hard to believe that the shower mat would ever look clean again… and so much harder to believe that God could come and wash every single dried-on, ground-in stain from my heart, but it’s true.

and if you want it, it can be true for you too.

 

washinglinefeat

 

 

For your journal:

Be honest, where are you in this process?

If you’re in the laundry pile, in need of forgiveness, come to Jesus and ask for it.

If you’re looking at a life that has been washed, but still pointing out stains that are no longer there, remember that when Paul said no-one was able to accuse you anymore that includes you! Don’t risk telling Jesus that his blood was all very well, but not enough to clean your heart up… you know that’s not true.  There are no exceptions.

If you, like me, struggle to shake the feeling of being unclean, dirty, messed-up , take a risk – ask God to show you how clean you are.  Get that truth into your heart where it belongs.

Living the Life, Surviving Tough Times

Changing the ground

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This is the plant that ‘would never grow’.

Years ago, when my parents moved house, they brought with them a  large rhododendron in a wooden pot that was a favourite of my Mum’s. The pot was old and failed to  survive the move, so my stepfather stripped what was left of the wood away and planted the Rhododendron straight into the soil of the garden.

And my Mum, who is the only one of us who has any clue at all about gardening said,

“it will never grow”

Because, she knew what the rest of us didn’t: that some plants need a particular type of soil to flourish.  Rhodedendrons need to have their roots in acidic soil, not in the chalky clay of an Essex garden.  So it really didn’t stand a chance…

However, 25 years later, here it is – not just surviving but thriving.  A great big green and purple horticultural-impossibility!

You see, it turns out that even though most of the garden behind our house does indeed have very alkaline soil, the corner where this shrub was planted is in the shadow of a centuries old oak tree.  Year after year that oak has been releasing hundreds of leaves, which fall in a thick layer over this part of the garden.  And year on year many of those leaves have been absorbed into the soil and have changed it.

The oak tree has changed the soil around it from a place where the rhododendron had no hope of surviving into a place where it has been able to become glorious.

When my Mum emailed me a snapshot of it a couple of weeks ago,  I heard God whisper two things into my ear.

Firstly:

“don’t give up on people – you don’t know as much as you think you do”.

I do have a tendency to fall into a trap of thinking I know things.  Accepting that God knows better than I do is a good place to be.  Conventional wisdom says: ‘that plant can’t survive in that place’ but God says – ‘There’s a bigger picture’

and second,  a challenge:

“Be an oak”

Because this plant is under the edge of an oak tree, it’s alive and blooming, even though the soil is naturally hostile to it.   Some people are living their lives, day in, day out, in environments that are hostile to their faith.  Conventional wisdom might say that their walk with Jesus has no hope of surviving, let alone thriving…

But you and I can choose to be oaks.  We can choose to be continually releasing grace, hope, compassion, truth, faith and love.  And even when it feels as though those ‘leaves’ are just falling to the ground, unnoticed by anyone, they are making a difference…  soaking into the soil and changing it…

It lifts my heart to think that I could be an oak tree in someone else’s life,  quietly releasing what it takes to support life, changing the environment, making a difference.  I’m not even entirely sure how, but I’m up for finding out.  you?

all is not always as it seems
sometimes
you and I

can change it

Mum's Rhododendron

 

reflect greens

 

For your journal

What do you think it takes to be an oak tree?  Ask God to speak to you about how you’re already doing this, and how you could do more.   If you have any ideas, please comment them below!

Maybe you feel more like the Rhododendron, struggling to survive in a hostile world.  Perhaps you need to find a place where you can be in community with some oak trees and to choose to receive whatever it’s going to take for you to grow.

 

 

 

 

Living the Life

Sea Swimming

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I’ve noticed that God has been speaking to me rather a lot about water lately –  maybe because it’s 42 degrees outside!  So the postcard for this week is about is choosing to swim in the sea.

 

When it’s hot out, everyone wants to get into the water. Being able to safely immerse yourself in water is a massively important survive-the-summer strategy so everyone wants their kids to be able to swim, and the  queues of traffic outside the teaching pools are quite something.  If we want to survive the hot seasons of our lives, learning how to (and then choosing to) immerse ourselves in the presence of God is vital.

Where I live there are four places you can swim: the teaching pool; the fun pool, the training pool and the sea.  And if you imagine that the water is the presence of God in our lives, each of them has something to say…

It’s sensible that we learn to swim in the safe, shallow confines of a teaching pool.  There are no unsettling waves, no unpredicatable currents and the water doesn’t hurt your eyes as much!  You don’t even actually need to swim as you can stand in the waist deep water and wade to the safety of the side. There are times in our lives with Jesus that are like the teaching pool: We spend time learning the basics, gaining ‘water-confidence’, learning to trust that the water will hold you if you lean back into it.

We start out here, and there have been quite a few moments in my walk with Jesus where  I’ve realised that I’ve been ‘sent back to the teaching pool’ to learn something new, or to unlearn and relearn something I hadn’t quite understood the first time around!    It’s a place to learn, but once we’ve learned we quickly outgrow it.

The fun pool is easy and entertaining.  There are safe borders but a limited space and it’s impossible to escape the noise and distractions.  It is possible to learn new skills here- diving, handstands, water-polo, but it’s easy to just pop in and out of the water for a while and spend a lot of the time sitting on the side watching.  There’s nothing wrong with spending some time here, especially when you are tired and in need of a break… but it’s a limited place.

The training pool might just be the hardest place.  It’s much less interesting: swimming endlessly up and down in lanes, forced to keep in time with the person in front of you, keeping going even when your muscles ache. Training-pool times in your life with God can feel frustrating and contained.  It can be boring to swim up and down the same track, but if you use time in the training pool wisely you can become stronger, fitter and faster.  This is the time to gain the strength and stamina you need for the races to come.  When I have lived through this kind of time, I have sometimes ached to be allowed back in the ‘fun pool’ again.  But training time qualifies you to be able to deal with something even better…

For me, just as there is nothing quite as wonderful as swimming in the sea, there is nothing quite like swimming out in the open water of faith and dependence on God.  When I swim in the sea I have a tremendous sense of freedom and of being supported, held up, by the water.  It’s true that there are patches when the sea is rough, when it would be nicer to have stayed in the safety of the pool. It’s true that you’re never entirely sure what’s under your feet. And it’s true that it’s pretty hard to swim without getting your hair wet!  It’s not as predictable and easy as the pool, but also much more full of possibilities.

 

But now I need to show you the rest of the picture…

If the water is the presence of God, then he is inviting you and I today to dive deep.  I hear him calling us to trust that he is good; to not fear being immersed and overwhelmed, but to know that we will find ourselves able to breathe underwater.

So here’s the invitation: Come and dive into this quiet place, where the noise of the world is silenced and where everything is coloured by the light of his presence.

Come today… Dive deep.

diving deeperweb

 

For your Journal:

What are you hearing God say?

What pool are you in right now?  What is good about it?  What are the challenges?

How do you feel about the invitation to dive deep into God’s presence?  What would stop you?  What would be the first step for you to push in deeper into relationship and friendship with God?

 

Identity, Living the Life

Superhero Socks

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This is my sweet five-year-old, dressing up in her fifteen-year-old brother’s superhero socks. He has a wide collection, and likes to wear them mismatched as a tiny but significant (?) piece of rebellion against the oppression of school uniform…

I’ve been thinking about superhero socks a lot this week.  In my last postcard I mentioned IHE’s -Impossibly High Expectations – and the potential they have to limit us from being all God created us to be.  And I’ve been thinking about my own, and how to describe them to you, so that you can spot yours!

On reflection: having an impossibly high expectation of myself is like being quietly stalked by a Superhero.  This SuperSomeone tiptoes along behind me, like a malignant imaginary friend, waiting for  the moment to point out my inadequacies, show me how I could do things better, or encourage me to aim ridiculously high.  Next to her, I always feel pretty rubbish really.
Now, while it’s perfectly OK to enjoy a good superhero story, and even (in some circumstances) to wear the socks; I’m sure you’ll agree that to believe that you can be a superhero is a dangerous, possibly even life-threatening delusion.

But, we all seem to do it. We all seem to invent a ridiculous, superhuman version of the role we’re in, and then expect ourselves to be it : SuperSomeones.

My loudest and most powerful Supersomeone is ‘SuperMummy’. She stands in the background of my life, ever ready to rear her (very beautiful and perfectly made up) head at any opportunity. For some reason she is most likely to manifest the night before the children’s birthdays, or Christmas, when she’forces’ me to organise beautifully themed birthday parties, icecakes until 3 in the morning and try to make everything  ‘just perfect’.

If I ever take my eyes off Jesus and let them settle on SuperMummy, I’m done… I come to a few days later, confused and exhausted, wondering (again) why on earth I thought I needed to do all that stuff.

You see SuperMummy always wears make-up, is slim, has beautiful hair, can wear scarves stylishly, bakes perfectly, has a beautiful home (she found that piece of furniture in a second-hand store and distressed it herself) and a high-powered career, is amazingly spiritual, never shouts, and can preach in high heels without falling over. SuperMummy reads bedtime stories to all of her children every day, never forgets the PE kit, or shows up with kids in uniform on Mufti day, can instantly find a protractor the night before Maths exams, runs the PTA and never misses a dentist appointment…  Gosh, she can probably service the people carrier (minivan) as well.

SuperMummy does NOT exist… But do you know what? if I let myself be conned into trying to be her, I may not exist for very much longer either.  Trying to be a superhero is exhausting and dangerous… and not what Jesus has asked us to do.

Whoever you are, and whatever stage of life you are at, I bet you
have a SuperSomeone.. A SuperPastor, SuperDad, SuperFriend,
SuperDaughter, SuperWorshipLeader, SuperChristian.  Walking
quietly beside you, whispering over your shoulder, “You need to be more like me”  Do you know what? –  You need to get rid of them, right now, whatever it takes.

SuperWhatever will distract you from what God is calling you to be and to do, he or she will suck all the life out of you, exhaust you, whisper ‘try harder’ over your shoulder until you can’t manage another step and then show you all the ways you’ve failed.

Whatever you think about what he has written or said since, a few years ago Rob Bell, in a very popular book called Velvet Elvis had a moment of pure genius. Writing on this subject he said:

‘KILL YOUR SUPERWHATEVER… ACT NOW… SHOOT FIRST!’

At the moment we fell into his arms and surrendered to him, God our father gave us a gift to help us defeat the Supersomeones. An enormous endlessly supplied water cannon, filled with… grace.

There is grace enough to cover ever one of your imperfections… and mine. There is grace to not to have to be perfect, to be a superhero. In fact, Grace says “you aren’t a superhero, I didn’t make you that way”.

Of course, our kids, work colleagues, churches, friends, families, need us to try to be ‘good-enough’, but there’s a loooooong way between that and a superhero.

So there’s my challenge for you for the week: ask God to shine his light on your inner Superwhatever; ask him to show you where you have ridiculously high standards of yourself and then apply a ridiculously generous amount of grace…. Shoot first.

superherosocks feat

For your journal:

Is it time for you to give up wearing some superhero socks?  Have your worked out who your supersomeone might be?  Spend some time asking God about it this week.

Then set yourself some challenges… For me, shooting grace at the supermummy meant making some good-enough decisions, some of which I found very hard. ( Buying a pile of chocolate muffins instead of baking a birthday cake is one I especially remember:)

What challenge will you set yourself to be ‘good-enough’ this week?

 

P.S.  In case you don’t scroll down that far… Commenter Deborah wrote this, and I think it’s great:

‘What other approval is there, that compares to the voice of God whispering to my heart, “You’re mine”.’

 

 

 

Living the Life, Surviving Tough Times

Walking in the shade

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It’s June and, after a few unseasonably cool weeks, summer has finally arrived in Nicosia.  (Weather.com tells me it’s 38 degrees C out there today- I am hiding inside!)

Once again, as the temperatures rise, I notice that we are beginning to live differently. We walk more slowly,  get up earlier, stay up later, nap in the afternoons.  School closes, we wear hats, close the shutters at 9am – ‘to keep the cool in’,  drink a lot of water and count down the days to when we can escape to chilly, wet England for the holidays.

Last week, as I walked lazily through the old city with visiting friends (in search of ice-cold frappé); one of those friends  pointed out another new habit I seem to have gained:  I cross the road a lot.   It took me while to work out what they meant, but it turns out that like many Nicosians at this time of year, I’m forever crossing over to the other side of the street as I subconsciously choose to walk or stand in patches of shade.

This week’s postcard is ‘walking in the shade’ because I’m aware that life can sometimes be ‘superheated’.

A hot season could be fired by pain, grief, fear, anxiety or uncertainty, or any number of other things, but a major culprit that turns the heat up under many of us are IHE’s: Impossibly High Expectations.

IHE’s -Supercareerguy/girl, superpastor, supermodel, superparent, superfriend, superspouse,  superchristian, superblogpostwriter  (pick your poison) fanned and fueled by family expectations, the media, church, facebook, pinterest, etc. put us (or make us put ourselves) under enormous pressure.  There is always another standard for us to measure our ‘success’ against, always another job that needs to be done yesterday.  That can make things pretty hot.

Whatever the cause; if you’re living in a hot place – you need to learn to walk in the shade.

The Bible tells me that the Lord my God is ‘the shade at [my] right hand’ (Psalm 121:5).  In a hot season you have to hunt out the shade.  If that means crossing the road every time you turn a corner or walking a longer way around then so be it …  If you’re in a hot place right now, it might be taking all you’ve got to keep going, and there may not be much time or energy to invest in your relationship with Jesus.    Please find some.    I’ve noticed that when the sun is at its highest and hottest if you want to get shade from something you have to walk very close to it.  And the closer you get, the deeper the shade.

So, if you’re in a hot season, walk close to Jesus.  Don’t let anger or disappointment, or tiredness or bewilderment make you decide to walk out in the heat of the sun.   Choose the shade.  And then keep on choosing it.

Of course, I know that not everyone who reads this will be living in a hot season… Some of you will be in a cold one.  Perhaps God feels a long way away right now; or maybe you feel as though your heart has somehow grown cold.  I was praying about this today and I felt God remind me that in the winter, everyone in my city chooses to walk in the sunshine…

That’s our beautiful God my friends: In the blast of the hot season he is the shade at your right hand, in the chill of the cold season he is the gentle sunlight that brings warmth to your soul.    Wherever you are living right now, draw near to him… he is what you need.

 

shadefeat

 

 

 

reflect greens

 

For your Journal:

Think about what this postcard says to you.  What kind of season are you in right now?  How would you describe it?  What reasons do you have for pressing in close to God, for listening for his voice, for walking the path he asks you to walk?

 

What do you think it means to walk close to God?  What does it take to get there?

I’m going to think some more about those IHE’s… expect more next week 🙂

 

 

Living the Life

Consider the Birds: On being an opportunistic feeder

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Have you ever noticed that when you sprinkle seed onto a bird table, in no time at all, loads of birds show up?  I always find myself wondering “How on Earth did they know?”

I know nothing at all about birds, so when I felt that God was giving me this postcard to paint for this week I was a bit stumped. But it was definitely the right picture,  so I did what any other person would do… I asked google!

It turns out that lots of other people have asked this question too, and although there’s no definitive answer, two theories seemed to emerge:

Birds have great eyesight and they’re constantly watching for food.

Birds let each other know when they find something good and plentiful.

 

So I’ve been simmering those thoughts away, and asking myself a couple of questions:

What does it mean for me as a follower of Jesus to be ‘constantly watching for food’?

‘Food’ is anything that sustains you and helps you to grow.  So it could probably be many different things: teaching; wisdom; reading the Bible; praying or worshipping with friends; or escaping to somewhere quiet to be alone with God.  You might find it at a certain times of day or at a certain place; at church services; in a person; at prayer meetings; on the internet; or in a book.

The thing I’m really hearing God say to me through this picture is that he’s calling me to be like a bird: an opportunistic feeder.

Birds will return to a place where they’ve been fed before, but will always be on the lookout for more.  They are picky about what they will eat, but eat from a variety of sources.  Ever watchful,  if an opportunity comes their way to take on board things that will give them energy and help them to grow they will take it.    This speaks to me about flexibility, alertness and also my own responsibility to seek after God’s provision for me:  For a bird, maturity is to go out there and look for your own nutrition… not to stay where you are and wait to be fed!

How can I let others know about the feast?

I was amused to read that some birds live as part of a community and let each other know where food is to be found… by tweeting. Smirking aside, there’s a message here too – It’s much easier to find out about places to eat, to grow and be strong, when we are part of a community.  And taking an active part in seeing other people in our community get ‘spiritually fed’ is an important part of what we are called to be.  This too will look different for everyone.  Sometimes it will be choosing to breathe words of life and encouragement over people; sometimes it will be sharing a link to a worship song on Facebook; it might be recommending a book, it might be writing one. Find a way that works for you.

 

‘Taste and see that the Lord is good’

Maybe for some of us this is also a challenge to call others who don’t yet know Jesus to come and join in the feast. A bit of ‘tweeting’ about how good and sweet life with Jesus can be might be in order!

 

birdsfeedingfeat

 

reflect greens

 

For your Journal:

Think about the ways and places you ‘find food’?  In what ways can you pay more attention to them, or how could you look for new ‘food sources’?

How can you let others know about the feasts you find?  Who in your life could you ‘call to”?

 

And finally…  Writing this blog is like throwing seeds onto the bird table… Thank you to every one of you who has shown up to taste it, and has called friends in to have some too.  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.   Ellie x

Living the Life

time for a cup of something?

8 Comments

Yesterday morning, at about 11:30, I got a text message from my 12 year old:

Exam finished, pick me up, Got time for a cup of something?

As ever, my first thought was “no time”.

But then I thought, “how often does my little girl ask me out for a coffee?  Wouldn’t it be lovely to say yes and to do this thing which will make her feel loved and special?”

So we stopped by at coffee shop on the way home and drank iced coffee in the sunshine while we talked about the test she’d taken.  I’m so glad I took that time. It was great coffee, great rest and great to be together. As I was enjoying that moment of togetherness and sharing with her I remembered this picture that I painted during worship on Sunday…

It’s a tray of plastic cups from the ubiquitous Swedish furniture store. We must have at least a hundred of these at our church for the kids to have water in, and it feels like nearly that many at home!  Anyone else out there prepared to admit to having bought three sets in order to avoid the argument about who gets the pink one?

I’ve only painted a few, but in the picture God showed me, there were many, many different coloured cups, all with something slightly different in them. And one of those cups is for you.

I don’t know what is in the cup God has for you today

It’s a cup of blessing, and sometimes blessing comes with laughter, sometimes with tears.  It might be comfort for your pain, it might be a lesson learned, it might be uncontrollable joy bubbling up from underneath the stone floor you’ve carefully laid in place. It might be any number of awesome, beautiful, wonderful, precious things.  I don’t know.  But I do know that it will be good.

I don’t know whether you will choose to drink the cup God is offering you today

It might not be the same as yesterday’s; it might not be what he has promised for tomorrow. It might not be what you think you need right now; it might not look like an easy cup to drink.  It might look so good that you think it can’t be for you, that he can’t possibly want to pour out blessing for you after everything you’ve done.

I don’t know whether, like me, you will just think “No time”, and never make it to take the cup he is offering.

Don’t be too tired or too busy.  Don’t be so caught up in the urgent that you miss the important.  Whatever reason you have for not taking the cup God has for you today, don’t let it be “I just didn’t get around to it”.

But what I do know, beyond doubt, is that he has a cup for you.

Whether or not you call yourself a Christian: a son or daughter of the king; there is a cup of blessing from the Father with your name on it.  You can’t put in an order for the particular kind of blessing you want, and you can’t exchange it for another one.  But if you want it, it’s there. Waiting.

As I write these sentences, I’m listening to an instrumental version of the hymn ‘I surrender all’.  Sometimes… often… accepting my cup for today is an act of surrender.  I’d rather have someone else’s… A little girl inside me is still yelling “I want the pink one!” 🙂  And often I get the pink one, and sometimes I look back and realise I got something better.

If you can make time today, even a few minutes, ask the Father what cup he has for you today.  Then take time to recieve whatever he has to give you.

Make time, come, surrender, and drink… it will be good.

ikeacups feat

 

For your journal/ To think about:

How about if this week, every time you see a coloured plastic IKEA cup, you asked God “What cup do you have for me today” and then took a moment to listen to and respond to his answer?

 

 

 

Identity

The Father’s Heart

4 Comments

Sometimes, a picture can speak to places so deep in our hearts that too many words might just get in the way.

This postcard is one of my all-time favourites.

I’ve been saving it – but I’m posting it now as a testimony to what God has been doing in my heart lately.  I’ve ‘known’ this a long time… finally I’m starting to ‘get’ it.

If you too, have ever struggled to call your Heavenly Father ‘Abba’ or ‘Daddy’, to accept his unconditional love and embrace, then maybe you should spend some time with this picture this week, asking him to take the truth it represents and write it deep into your heart.

 

Image

 

My child

when your heart is hurt
 don't turn your face away

when your soul is bruised
 don't break away and run

when all you have to bring is shame
 don't find a place to hide

turn to me, run to me,
 dive into my embrace
 and find your rest in your Father's arms

 

reflect white

 

 

For your Journal:

Take a while to look at this picture and write down what you feel God is saying to you through it.   Have a go at writing your own poem, or write a letter back to God to capture what it means to you to be this child; to be  welcomed and embraced by your ‘Abba’, to be unconditionally loved.

 

Dealing with Change

Emerging : about change

8 Comments

Every now and again something happens in your heart or your life which is so significant, so major, that you know that nothing will ever be quite the same again.

Sometimes, in just a few days or moments, your life can become so different that for a while you find yourself out of step with the rest of the world. “How?” you ask yourself, “Can everyone else’s life still be so much the same when mine has changed so radically?”

Sitting here I can think of six moments in my life when I have felt this really powerfully:  Asking Jesus to be a part of my life; getting married; the births of my three children and then the death of my Dad.  All of these things have so profoundly affected me on the inside that I have struggled to understand why people around me can’t see or sense or be a part of the revolution that has taken place.  I’ve felt a bit detached from the rest of the world for a while, and I haven’t always understood or awarded myself the grace that I needed.

I’m kind of in that place again this week.

Last week, at a crazy-beautiful conference in England, Father God revealed to me a little bit more of who he is, and then a little bit more of who I am, and before I knew it, another revolution had taken place in my heart.  I’ll get to writing and painting about that soon (when the dust has settled) but for this week, I need to take a ‘wing-drying’ moment.

You see, I read this morning about this butterfly, a monarch, which after hatching out of its cocoon, sits for an hour or more in the sun, allowing its wings to dry and become strong.  This moment of rest, of warming, and of taking stock speaks to me really powerfully right now.

So often I experience a revolution in my life or in my heart, and I expect myself to be able to be up and out and flying straightaway.  Today I think Jesus is telling me to wait a while, to let my wings dry out, to get used to my new shape.  This picture is permission to rest in him for a moment or two before I launch out again.

 

And that’s good… There’s going to be a lot of time for flying.

 

Imagine my surprise
when I emerge from the struggle
the beautiful revolution
the inner rewriting
with wings..

Still reeling
but knowing
that one day soon I will stretch out
into what I've become
and fly.

But till then
I'll sit here
in the light and the warmth of your gaze
and let you tell me again
who I am.


butterfly2

reflect greens

 

 

It’s always good to rest for a while in the warmth of the Father’s gaze.  Make sure you take a moment today to ‘sun yourself’.

 

For your Journal:

If you’re not in this place right now,  store up the thought for the future… Decide now that if and when it happens you will give yourself permission to rest and to ask God to shine his light on your wings.

If you are in this place, go easy on yourself.  Write a letter to God in your journal about the change that you’ve just been through.  Take the moment to say goodbye to what you were before and to stretch out into the new thing you’ve become.  Absorb the light of God’s presence in whatever way works best for you right now.  Be blessed x