All posts by promisepainter

Dealing with Change

Gappiness

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This is my beautiful nearly-six-year-old’s new smile.  Gorgeous isn’t it?

I’ll admit though, that when she ran to me yesterday, yelling with excitement that the wobbly front tooth was finally out, I did have a little moment of grieving for that pearly toothed little-girl-smile that I will never see again.

And then, before I knew it I was wondering what her big teeth will be like: Will they come through straight and strong? Will they look too big for a while in her little mouth? Will she still look like my Katie?

I was stuck there for a moment in an emotional whirlwind, caught up between grief about what has been lost and worry about what is ahead…

And then… she smiled!

…And I heard God whisper  “Gappiness is just so beautiful, isn’t it?”

And it is…

A long long time ago, when I was an architecture student, we spent a month or two talking about liminal spaces: porches; walkways; vestibules; corridors; thresholds; all ‘in-between’ places. We talked about how important it was to help people realise that they are making a transition, to sense that a change is taking place, and to prepare them for space they were about to experience.

I often remember those lectures as I see people around me passing through liminal life-spaces, passing over the threshold between what was and what will be, moving and adjusting from one season to another and travelling the gappiness in between. It helps to recognise the liminal spaces for what they are: temporary places of rest, or refreshment, or preparation.  Gaps where God can prepare us for the next season.  They will pass.  And although they can seem awkward or uncomfortable, they do have a beauty of their own.

Kate showed me this morning that she can just see the tip of the new tooth poking through… before I know it she will have her big-teeth smile… but it will take a while, and for now, I’m going to lean back and enjoy the gappiness.

gappiness

Living the Life

The Bouncing Ball

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In case you don’t know (having had the sense to avoid all sing-along movies for the last eighty-nine years) the bouncing ball is a little animated dot that bounces brightly along the words of a song to keep the sing-along-ers in time (and on the right word!)  It says – THIS IS WHERE WE ARE – PAY ATTENTION.

In my extensive research 🙂 I read just now that when the bouncing ball began life in September 1925 it wasn’t even animated, but a studio employee bounced a tennis ball on a long stick merrily along the words of My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean. Wikipedia even tells me that on the latest sing-along version of Disney’s Frozen the little ball has become a bouncing snowflake… *shudder* As if there can be anyone left in the world who doesn’t already know all the words…

Enough history… I don’t think God gave me this picture this morning so I could celebrate 89 years of sing-a-long movie technology…

The ball is all about focussing your attention on what needs to be done right now, on what is happening right now.  As I said – THIS IS WHERE WE ARE NOW, PAY ATTENTION.

It helps avoid confusion between that and what’s coming next, or what’s just gone. And it makes you keep a steady time.   Someone put it there, on purpose, to help you stay in the right moment.  And let’s face it, the whole thing sounds better if the vocalists are in time with the music!

To follow the metaphor, I am the kind of person who rushes ahead to the chorus instead of letting the verse play out. And although the chorus often has a better tune, the words of the verse are nearly always more interesting.

But the message I’m hearing through this week’s postcard is: Focus on the now. Don’t get distracted by the just gone and the not yet. Learn. Keep time. Find me in the present.

So that’s what I’m going to try to do.

I’m cheating a little because I wrote this poem for my very first post… but I’m all for recycling… and since I seem to need to hear things more than once, I’m going to assume that it might help you too…

I search for you:
I strain ahead to look for you
to see where we will go together
Longing to know, longing to be there, longing to see
and I just glimpse your face through the mist.

I turn around to look back
at the place I saw you last
felt your touch, saw you move, joined the dance
but it's gone.

and yet
when I open my eyes
I see you are with me now

bouncing ball feat

What about you? What is God saying to you through this picture? Do you need to rewind or fast forward to get your focus on to what God is doing now?

Living the Life, Surviving Tough Times

When climbing a mountain…

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Intrigued?  Well, I’m not surprised.  I didn’t know what one of these was called either (had to google it 🙂 ).  It’s a piton.  Mountain climbers hammer them tightly into crevices in the rock face so that they can attach their safety ropes through the hole.  A vital piece of rock-climbing kit.

When God showed me this picture, I imagined what it would be like if, exhausted from a difficult climb, beaten back by the weather, you were to come across one of these, already firmly in the rock face and ready to clip your harness on to.  What a relief I would feel if it were me, and how grateful to the climber that scaled this wall before me and left me something to take a hold of.

So today’s postcard is an encouragement to start nailing in some of these beauties, both for those who scale the walls you’re climbing after you, and for your own benefit (just in case like me, you have a tendency to revisit the same challenges).

The first time I really noticed how this could work was when I was in a tiny church choir.  One day the choir leader played us a piece he planned for us to sing. It was extraordinarily complex and difficult with solos and harmonies and even a rap(!), so we reacted in some disbelief!  But he believed we could do it, and as a group we somehow just chose to take his faith and believe it.  It was as if we reached out with our Karabiner clips in our hands and clipped our harnesses onto the faith he was holding out.

Our faith in God is like that, we have the ability to hold it out to others and say “here-  hold on to mine, I’ve scaled this wall before you”.

I can’t tell you exactly what the pitons you put in will look like, they might be a word,  an action, scripture glued to a mirror, a testimony, a song, a journal entry, a book, a blog post, a status update, a tweet. But I do know that when we start to hold out the faith we’ve gathered to others it will multiply.  Whatever they say about problems, faith shared is faith (at least) doubled!

While a piton has to be strong, the real strength is in the rock.  The job of the piton is simply to enable someone to anchor their heart to the Rock of Ages, into the ultimate strength and safety of the Living God himself.

piton feat

If you’re climbing in a storm,  look out for what others have left for you.  When you see it – choose to reach out for it and clip yourself on!

If you’ve taken on a difficult face and made it to the top.  Look for the faith that you grew on the journey and then choose to find a way to hold it out for others.

And please, please comment below about the ways God is speaking to you that you could hold out the faith you’ve collected to to others and then comment again about the ways you’ve done it and seen faith multiplied in other people.  In the words of the Lego Movie – that would be awesome!

If you’re interested in more of what I think faith is and isn’t you could read this:  Faith and the Flying Fox or this: Ready to Walk on Water

Identity, Living the Life

Clean Water

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Ever had a problem with your water supply?

This week, my city has a problem.  The water pipes supplying some of the outlying villages have decayed and started releasing something toxic into the water.  No-one is sure where the problem is exactly, or how long it will take to fix, but you really don’t want to drink that water until they have!

So God has been speaking to me this week about the importance of keeping the supply pure, because the fountain of water that he has placed in each of us that chooses to follow him is not just for ourselves but also for all those around us.

“Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them” John 7:38 NIV

(In case you haven’t realised it yet – you are not just a kitchen tap, you’re a public water fountain.)

What the Nicosia Water Boards current problems have been whispering to me this week is this: “the pipes matter”

Have you ever drunk water through an old plastic bottle spout, or (if you’re really lucky) through your own sock at at youth event?   If you have, you’ll know that water inevitably tastes of whatever it has passed through.  And whatever living water you give out to others will pass through your heart on its way.

I’m feeling challenged this week because our dodgy water supply has reminded me that any bitterness, unforgiveness, cynicism or hatred in my heart will pollute the water that flows out me in my friendships, my relationships and ministry.  And if I don’t want to have these things in my heart slowly leaching toxic waste into the people around me then I need to do something about them.

All you amazing, extraordinary, wonderful fountains of living water reading this post, it’s time for us to get cleaned up  – there’s a world full of thirsty people out there and it’s time to get them a drink.

 

tap2feature

it's time to forgive


not saying I don't have a right
to be angry
or wounded
or hurt

but to stop
draw a line
make a choice

and put down those rights at the foot of the cross
with my pain
and my sin 
and my shame

and then
to walk away

free

 

Identity

Nametapes

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This is how I remember it… like a page in the much-loved story book of the children’s early lives… a moment that God used to touch my heart.

It’s more than ten years since my firstborn started school, but I still remember the day when I was battling through the pile of freshly-bought school uniform, dutifully sewing in the little white woven name tapes, and my four year old came to ask me what I was doing.

Now, I’ve read that the average four year old asks around 200 questions a day, and mine was maybe even a little above average in this department, so I cast around for an answer that would pre-empt any further questions and maybe even send him back to his lego:

“I’m sewing in little tapes with your name on them, to show everyone that these clothes belong to you; and then no-one can take them away from you and they can’t get lost.”

It must have been a good answer, because he just looked very thoughtfully at me and then disappeared upstairs to his room again.

A minute later though, he reappeared, dragging his much beloved (and slightly gruesome) Blue-Blanky. This worn and grubby cot blanket had been at his side constantly for the past three years (apart from one heart-rending moment in a motorway service station and some late-night under-the-cover-of-darkness trips through the washing machine…) and was a great source of comfort to him, and occasional stress to me!

“Sew my name on Blue-Blanky Mummy,” he said earnestly, “then everyone will know it’s mine, and no-one can say it’s not and it can never ever be lost, or taken away”

So I did.

About a week later I was reading Ephesians when this verse caught a hold of my heart:

“Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory” Ephesians 1: 13-14 NIV

I suddenly realised that the Father has done the equivalent of sewing a woven nametape onto my very heart and soul – he has marked me with a seal.

Isn’t that marvellous?… isn’t it wonderful?  The Holy Spirit is the irrevokable royal seal on your life that declares to the earth and to the heavens for ever and ever:  “This soul is MINE”.

When I look at this picture, I hear God whispering:

“Everyone will know you are mine, no-one can say you are not, and you can never ever be lost, or taken away”

I wonder if you do too?

cashtape

Living the Life

Ready to walk on water?

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I’ve always loved the story of Peter leaping enthusiastically
out of the boat and walking towards Jesus across the water. Over
the years I’ve thought about it a lot as I’ve tried really hard to have
the guts to follow Jesus into the places he’s called me to.

There are a probably a hundred different sweet, important, challenging things you could find in this one story, but today I’m picking the three which I’ve been thinking about this summer and maybe God will speak to you through one of them…

The people in the boat were possibly not shouting ‘Go Peter!’

I wonder whether the other disciples heard Jesus’ voice above the waves. If not, then their reaction would almost certainly have been of the “where are you going you nutter” variety.  Sometimes God speaks to us through our peers, often through our leaders, and always in line with the Bible; but occasionally He calls us to do something that looks kind of crazy to a LOT of people…

He only went where he was called to go.

Peter heard Jesus and obeyed even though it looked (and probably felt) impossible.  Note that he didn’t just wildly do something that looked impossible and then ask Jesus to bless him in it… Big difference.

‘Safe’ is relative.

I’m not into taking risks.  Unlike my 5 year old, I have this inner drive to try to stay safe.   Maybe it’s a mum thing?  I’ve heard a lot of talks about walking on water that suggest it’s all about taking risks and stepping out of the safety of the boat.  But that misses an interesting question which I heard Jesus ask one day when I was struggling with this:

“where do you think is safer, Ellie? In the boat? or where I am?”

I guess it depends a bit on your definition of ‘safe’… but I’m inclined to wonder if in that moment Peter saw the boat for what it was, and Jesus for who he was…

…or maybe he was just a crazy hothead out for some adventure.

 

Here’s the thing… I really don’t want to leave the comfort of a safe, predictable boat, but I REALLY want to walk on water.  Can’t have it both ways!

I painted this postcard after spending a lot of time listening to this song, Oceans by Hillsongs. My heart is especially captured by the line:

‘spirit lead me where my faith is without borders’

That’s my prayer for today  – a yearning to replace comfort with courage… to go beyond the limits of my fragile faith… to walk on water.

walking on the water

For your journal

I guess my point from today is that if you want to walk on water in your life of faith with God, the first step is that you really HAVE to be able to hear him speak to you.  Make some time to listen to him today, about the things you’re already doing, and maybe make some space for him to call you out of the boat again…

Living the Life

Tomatoes

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I’m hopeless at growing things.  And as if to prove it, at
least once a year one of the children brings a straggly tomato
plant from school, and I spend a couple of months trying not to
forget to water it, or to water it too much… The latest plant to
be facing its uncertain future on my windowsill was an slightly
unorthodox ‘party treat bag’ and as I write this is just at the point of bearing the little yellow flowers which may yet even actually become
tomatoes.  Exciting times.  Two other things are becoming clear…

Firstly, as the plant has grown, the tiny pot it was in is not
going to cut it for much longer. That little bit of compost has
probably already had all the nutrients sucked out of it, and more
importantly, the wretched thing has become so top heavy that in the
slightest breeze the whole thing falls over. So, job one: bigger
pot.

Secondly as it has grown it has become more and more straggly,
and less able to bear its own weight. I’m pretty sure that it
couldn’t carry the weight of a single tomato, let alone a whole
crop! So, job two: put in a stake.

It strikes me that we can be a bit like tomato plants. We chase after (and give honour to) gifting and anointing (tomatoes) and are apt to neglect the less exciting foundations – reading the bible/prayer (pot) and character (stake).

All three are important. Just as a huge plant can’t manage without a sizeable pot and stake, there is no point in having a fantastic pot, but no fruit. All three have to grow together. Understanding, character and gifting, tied together with a relationship with Jesus which gives life to them all.

tomsquare

 

For your Journal:

Which is your fruitfulness more likely to be limited by – lack of character or understanding, or lack of attention to identifying and growing your gift?

How can you invest in that area more so that your own fruitfulness is not limited?

How can you invest in other people in a balanced way?

Identity

There’s no place like home

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It’s our nomadic season!

Once a year we run from the summer heat and leave the small island of Cyprus for the slightly bigger one of the UK, where we live out of (several) suitcases for five fun, but long, weeks.

Sleeping in a tent or on the guest beds of our fantastic welcoming friends and family is wonderful, but I can’t help missing the feeling of being ‘home.  Of course, the point of being here in the UK is not to feel ‘at home’, but to have fun, invest in friendships and do things that can’t be done when we’re in Cyprus.  But, although I’m having a great time, it’s actually quite difficult for a homebird like me to be on the move for that long.

I’ve been reflecting on that strange tension between the longing to be home and not feeling ready to leave yet.  Just a couple of weeks ago I was really wishing that I could pop home for a few days, run the washing machine ten times, sleep in my own bed and then pop back to spend more time with the friends I love (and the massive to-do list!)

It’s made me think again about Paul describing our bodies as ‘tents’  (in 2 Cor 5).  He seemed to think of his earthly body as ‘temporary accommodation’, to be replaced by a permanent building in heaven.  I’m fairly sure that most of the people Paul sold his tents to weren’t weekend leisure-campers either.  Tents were for people who for a long time or a short time were living on-the-move.

 Heaven is where our home is – life on earth is just camping

It’s made me wonder whether my life is, in reality, quite a lot like my family’s summer trip back to the UK.  It’s an interesting thought. …Maybe the point of my life is not really to be comfortable, or settled or easy; but to do (and enjoy) those things that won’t be possible in heaven… Chasing after the lost, loving the outcasts, defending the oppressed, caring for those in need.

Perhaps we are all ‘temporary nomads’ in the world for a while before we head back to our Home in heaven.  The long-term-travelling-camping thing is fun, but not easy.  It can be uncomfortable and difficult and inconvenient and we may never feel quite settled.

This time next week, we’ll be on our flight back to Cyprus.  There will be tearful goodbyes, and regrets about the stuff we didn’t get done… but it will be OK… we’ll be going home.

blue tent

Living the Life

Climbing the Helter Skelter

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This is the kind of Helter Skelter I remember from when I
was a child. I guess that many of you will have been on one.
Maybe even this summer! To use it, we would pick up a rather
dubious smelling sack, go into the inside of the tower and climb a
spiral staircase for what seemed like forever. Eventually,
legs aching, we would arrive at the top and step out into the
daylight again. It was incredibly hard work in the darkness. Small
legs, plimsolls and scratchy sacks going around and around and
around. And then finally, sometimes suddenly, the joy of having
made it to the top… Fear mixed in with the excitement as I walked
out onto that top platform.. Not quite able to believe that I’d
climbed up so high in the darkness, and giddy as I looked back down
at where I’d come. I thought of that feeling a few weeks
ago when I read this post
by an old friend… Someone I used to walk to school and giggle
about boys with, someone I used to watch dance movies and exchange
make-up tips with and someone who one day, about 26 years ago, was
standing next to me as we both whispered “yes” to Jesus and fell
into his never ending grace. She, my extraordinary friend, wrote so
honestly about the years that she had put in, fighting against
anxiety and worry. Years and years of choosing to trust God when
her heart wanted to run. And then she wrote about a stepping out
moment, of being in a situation where she should have been
terrified, but realising that she had learned to lean into God, to
walk without fear. I was so inspired. Life often feels like the
Helter skelter. We put in many uncomfortable years in the darkness
of not really being sure what God is doing. Climbing and carrying,
with only little glimpses – hope – of where we’re going or what we
might be achieving. Sometimes we feel like we’re moving in a
circle, continually coming back to familiar places of pain,
weakness or battle. The challenge is not to give up… Because as
we circle around, revisiting old issues and fighting similar
battles, as we press into God and call out to Him we are actually
spiralling upwards to higher places. It’s not easy going, but it’s
going somewhere. How much do you want to emerge into the daylight
and realise that old enemies have been defeated? How much do you
want to climb into the sack that you’ve carried and use it to live
in the blessing of the freedom you’ve earned? I do. I pray that we
will both keep climbing until we get there.   helterskelter
   

Living the Life, Surviving Tough Times

My Boy’s Dream Car

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This push-along-with-your feet-car was the object of desire of every single child at the toddler group I used to take my son to.  He wanted to ride in it almost from when he could crawI, long before his legs were long enough, or coordinated enough to be able to move it himself.  And I still can’t see one of these red and yellow beauties without smiling at the thought of him at 3 years old, chubby cheeked and grinning as he trundled around the yard.

We never had one at home, but every time we went to a place that had one he was desperate to play in it.  So for a while there a Little Tikes Cozy Coupe was his ultimate dream car.

I can’t tell you how funny it is to think of him trying to get into one of these now!  At fifteen he has the same wild blond hair and cheeky grin but they now top a nearly 6 foot tall body. Gorgeous – but all arms and legs and enormous feet. I’m not sure it would even be possible for him to fold his gangly frame into this little car, much less get it to move anywhere.

This week I feel like God is speaking to me about hopes and dreams. When I was 20 I had dreams about what God might do with my life.. I dreamed of having a family;  helping people find Jesus; healing; preaching; leading worship; of seeing revival…   Some of it has happened, some hasn’t, and there’s also been load of amazing and difficult and wonderful stuff that I never expected.

I’m older now, and I tend to think of crazy hopeful dreaming as something young people do.  It’s tempting (maybe sensible) to put those dreams down and just get on with things the way they are…

…But

Yesterday, while I was hanging out the washing, God told me to paint a postcard of a cozy coupe. I often don’t really understand what the ‘message’ of a postcard is going to be until I’ve had a chance to pray about it,  and this time it wasn’t till I sat down (in the cool of an air-conditioned coffee shop) to write that I started to hear God speak about dreaming.

How does the Cozy Coupe fit into that?  Well, it was Jonny’s dream.  And it was a great dream for him to have when he was two, OK still when he was five, but now?… Now it is totally outgrown and limiting, utterly unsuitable.  Jonny needs to get a bigger dream.

Do you still have dreams about what God might do with your life?

Maybe you’ve lost hold of your dreams on the roller coaster of life. Maybe you’ve forgotten what they even were. Never mind. You’ve probably outgrown them by now anyway. What good would it do you to fold yourself up into those old dreams anyway? Today is a really good day to ask God to give you a new dream, a new vision of what he wants to do with you and in you and through you.
Today is the day you need to get a new dream.

 

cozycoupefeat

 

reflect blue

 

For your journal:

When you ask God about what dreams he has for your life today… write down what he says!